"My friend's dog died yesterday ...
... his mother called yesterday evening and she said that they had to put the little one down. Fifi was 13 years old and has recently had to take pills because she had a very big heart and liver and the vet said she had too much water in her body. This condition would only cause her unnecessary pain.
My friend was totally exhausted and cried. But I would like to comfort him somehow, I feel so helpless ... "
We are very sorry to hear that. Losing a loved one is painful, and it is very difficult to cope with the grief over your own dog. The best thing you can do for your boyfriend is hug him and be there for him. Someone who has suffered a loss wants to be seen in their suffering. Every person experiences grief differently.
What is grief
Grief is a completely natural and normal process and is one of the basic emotions of people. The loss of a beloved family member (in this case) upsets the mental equilibrium and through grief the person can bring it back into harmony. To make grief easier to understand, it can be divided into four phases:
- Despair / not wanting to admit it
- Breaking feelings (sadness, anger, powerlessness, guilt ...)
- New self and world reference
It is important to know that this process is not processed one-to-one, but that different phases can repeat themselves and also last for different lengths of time. We go through the individual sections several times, in different forms and with different intensities.
Visualize the appreciation
Many people fear that the memory may fade. Why don't you give your friend a picture of their deceased dog. Is a photo too boring for you? Then commission an artist from the Internet to portray the dog.
Or you could sit down with your friend and write a letter together. With this letter one can send the deceased all thoughts and feelings that one would like to convey. Deal with the past and indulge in beautiful memories. Maybe you can think of some funny stories. This is how you can help your friend accept what happened and accept strong feelings. Here are a few examples of how you can start this letter:
- The last time I touched your fur I felt ...
- The last time I looked you in the eye I felt ...
- The last time we walked across the fields together, I felt ...
Overcoming grief is incredibly important and is part of human life. Give your friend time to grieve. We hope we could help you a bit and one last point: grief is love, allow it.